{"product_id":"don-t-make-it-weird-🍆","title":"Don’t Make It Weird 🍆","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eFirst of all, it’s HUGE. Second of all, stop looking at it like that. 👀\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eListen, we know what you’re thinking. And frankly, we’re disappointed in you. This is a perfectly innocent, oversized eggplant. A big, thick, gloriously squishy eggplant that just happens to be filled with an obscene amount of creamy goodness.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003ePLEASE ACT NORMAL.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e 🍆\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eThis generously endowed gentleman is packing some seriously satisfying crunchy clay. We’re talking thick, buttery, ridiculously creamy goodness with just enough crunch to make your eyes roll back in your head.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eAnd here’s where things get interesting. 😏\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003ePut this bad boy in the refrigerator and he gets THICK.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e We’re talking a seriously firm, two-handed situation. You’re going to need a good grip and possibly a moment to collect yourself.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eAnd yes, it smells like grapes. 🍇\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eWhy grapes? Because apparently, somewhere along the way, we decided that making a giant, suspiciously squeezable eggplant wasn’t enough. We needed to make it smell delicious, too.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eOriginally curated for Smushberry, this absolute unit has been personally altered and fragranced because we simply cannot leave well enough alone.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eSize:\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e Jumbo. Obviously. 🍆\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003eTexture:\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e Extra Creamy Crunchy Clay\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003eDensity:\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e Medium (becomes significantly firmer when chilled)\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003eScent:\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e Grape 🍇 (Don’t ask.)\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eTexture \u0026amp; Care Advisory:\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e Do not pinch, pull, twist, dig nails, or forcefully squeeze filling towards the plug. To prolong the life of your squishy, use single-finger presses rather than forceful whole-hand squeezing, as this puts a lot of strain on the glue holding the plug in place, which can only be stretched so many times.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Smushberry","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":68228086005972,"sku":null,"price":15.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0814\/4633\/8772\/files\/copy_06BB2A70-6909-4864-8B1F-F41029793AE0.jpg?v=1793329762","url":"https:\/\/www.smushberry.com\/products\/don-t-make-it-weird-%f0%9f%8d%86","provider":"Smushberry","version":"1.0","type":"link"}