Don’t Make It Weird 🍆

First of all, it’s HUGE. Second of all, stop looking at it like that. 👀

Listen, we know what you’re thinking. And frankly, we’re disappointed in you. This is a perfectly innocent, oversized eggplant. A big, thick, gloriously squishy eggplant that just happens to be filled with an obscene amount of creamy goodness.

PLEASE ACT NORMAL. 🍆

This generously endowed gentleman is packing some seriously satisfying crunchy clay. We’re talking thick, buttery, ridiculously creamy goodness with just enough crunch to make your eyes roll back in your head.

And here’s where things get interesting. 😏

Put this bad boy in the refrigerator and he gets THICK. We’re talking a seriously firm, two-handed situation. You’re going to need a good grip and possibly a moment to collect yourself.

And yes, it smells like grapes. 🍇

Why grapes? Because apparently, somewhere along the way, we decided that making a giant, suspiciously squeezable eggplant wasn’t enough. We needed to make it smell delicious, too.

Originally curated for Smushberry, this absolute unit has been personally altered and fragranced because we simply cannot leave well enough alone.

Size: Jumbo. Obviously. 🍆
Texture: Extra Creamy Crunchy Clay
Density: Medium (becomes significantly firmer when chilled)
Scent: Grape 🍇 (Don’t ask.)

Texture & Care Advisory: Do not pinch, pull, twist, dig nails, or forcefully squeeze filling towards the plug. To prolong the life of your squishy, use single-finger presses rather than forceful whole-hand squeezing, as this puts a lot of strain on the glue holding the plug in place, which can only be stretched so many times.